When I took Mark’s story from LinkedIn, it had attracted 86 ‘Reactions’ and 36 comments. One of the comments was mine, though all I'd done was back onto a comment posted a bloke called Taylor Dutton. (I don't know Taylor). Taylor's comment was;
- This is very powerful Mark, really appreciate you sharing this. Whilst I haven’t been in a dark place myself, I’m not immune to feeling down and not ‘at the top of my game’. I think self-awareness for this critical, and being able to communicate this with others makes things a lot easier. Thanks again for sharing, and am only a DM away if you ever need someone to lend an ear.
My comment was simply "Ditto for Taylor's comment, Mark (In fact, only a phone call away. Text if that’s a better option for you. Whatever works.”
I met Mark sometime during Q1 2019. I was working for the Warrnambool City Council and, at that point Mark was one of the more senior figures plying his trade within MAV's WorkCare team. (MAV, the Municipal Association of Victoria).
MAV established WorkCare to manage a workers’ compensation self-insurance scheme for the Victorian local government sector. As of writing, the Scheme was made up of 31 members from across the sector, including the WCC. I worked for the WCC from late December 2018 until February, 2020.
From my POV, Mark struck me as a quirky individual but also left me with an overriding impression he was someone who knew what he was on about. He seemed to hold a deep appreciation of some of the more esoteric aspects of the subjects we would discuss, and we would find ourselves talking about all sorts of off-piste things.
I found spit-balling ‘safety stuff’ with Mark to be enjoyable, which I reckon will come across as weird to pretty much everyone but those who've spent real time noodling within the professional safety and health space.
From my POV Mark got ‘it’, but I no idea when I met him he suffered from what I believe is called The Black Dog. Also, I certainly had no inkling he’d tried to commit suicide, at some point beforehand.
While depression is not something that has ever immediately afflicted myself, I know plenty of people that it does impact.
And as for suicide, again it's nothing I’ve ever contemplated and, hopefully, never will.
But, unfortunately I have seen first-hand the devastation it leaves. A flatmate’s brother, when I was in my third year at University. And my Father in Law’s best friend, in the mid-2010’s. And only last December a workmate chose to take his own life about a week away from Christmas.
I also recently learnt of a very close friend's failed attempt at suicide, in the 1990s. (And if you’re reading this, understand I am 100% glad that you failed. I know that sounds brutal, and I know you are at the top of the game of many things but I am really, really happy you didn't succeed at that).
When I look back at this article what immediately jumps out is one unnerving consistency: every one of the suicides I know of (or, failed attempts) involve men.
And while I am not about to stand here and spout any distinct proficiency in this subject, if there was anything I took from Mark’s post, it is this: it is absolutely OK to reach-out and talk to people about depression, and suicide. If I'm honest with myself that is something that most blokes I know - myself certainly included in that - don't do well. We bottle stuff up, think that's dealing with it and (try to) move on.
But, as I’ve seen flitting around on social media recently, there is a statement that I believe sums things up about this really, really well. It goes something like
- I would rather sit with you for as long as it takes and listen to the shit you’re going through, than sit for 15 minutes listening to your eulogy.
Amen to that.
